Most of the talk I see is coming from the side that we are experiencing an activation of the sympathetic nervous system, that keyed up feeling. When this gets activated, we go into “fight or flight mode”. This is when we may feel muscle tension, increased heart rate, increased sweating, increased agitation, etc.

When our fight or flight response is activated, we want calming and relaxing activities, preferably using all of our senses. This is when we want to slow our body’s responses:

• Deep breathing
• Meditation, other mindful activities (coloring, baking, cooking)
• Take a warm bath
• Smell relaxing scents (common examples are lavender and vanilla)
• Gentle stretches or Yoga
• Go on a slow walk
• Listen to soft/soothing music
• Listen to nature sounds
• Drink herbal tea
• Cuddle with pets
• Use weighted blankets (or just snuggle in a blanket)

On the other side, when our parasympathetic nervous system is under activated, we enter the collapse, shut down, or freeze response. I prefer the term collapse response, but I’ve seen all three terms used in various sources.

Essentially, during this response, our heart rate is likely lower, our breathing rate is slower, our body temperature may decrease. We feel numb. We feel checked out. We want to sleep or otherwise hide somewhere. We are likely further isolating ourselves. We don’t see this as a stress response. We often call it depression. Although, what I’ve been hearing is, “This looks like when I was depressed, but feels different.” The “feeling different” is hard to describe.

Looking at this collapse response, I recommend alerting activities. These are the activities that get us moving, engaging, and connecting with our environment and all of our senses:

• Smell alerting scents (commonly peppermint, cinnamon, citrus)
• Take a cool shower, or splash cool water on your face
• Listen to upbeat, faster music
• Get your heart rate up, cardio, faster walks, runs, jumping jacks, dance, stretching and Yoga can be helpful, but with more intention on waking the body vs calming the body
• Chew gum, suck on mints (some people like cinnamon or sour tastes). I personally like flavored seltzer water (no sugar and no caffeine).

We need to experiment and try different things to find what works for us. None of those are going to be easy things to do. Some days will be harder than others. That is OK, that is normal. These are normal reactions and responses to the not normal events that we are living through. Put another way, how we are feeling is to be expected given the not normal events we are experiencing. We need to practice both the relaxation and the alerting activities on a regular basis.  Practicing relaxing and alerting activities often makes it easier to be able to use them when/if our fight/flight or collapse responses are activated. 

In addition to regular practice, I also try to pay attention to what events are likely to trigger a response. With practice I can often predict if I will be activated (fight or flight) or under activated (collapse). Although, if I’m honest, the under activation still surprises me and throws me for a loop more often than I’d like to admit. The next several months have many potential triggers for us, including the election, the fall out of the election, school breaks, holidays that may look incredibly different from previous years, and the continued living through a global pandemic. 

One final thought, that is actually the thought that prompted this blog post, we need to PLAY. We need to have fun. We need to find those ways to connect to joy and pleasure, alone and with each other. This may be the hardest piece of the puzzle as we live in a culture that devalues play and emphasizes productivity. Play can be relaxing and deactivating; it can be energizing and alerting. The more varied the play is, the less likely it is to fall into the numbing zone. Finding the line between helpful coping and numbing is hard, but if we practice a variety of strategies, it is less likely that we need to numb. 

-Erica Kittleson, MSW, LISW-S

Want to schedule a 10-minute call with our Intake Coordinator?  Check out our scheduling link here.

The post Collapse appeared first on Holistic Consultation.

Many of us have great intentions when we set goals, but we trip ourselves up by setting goals that are vague or hard to track.  That’s where SMART goals come in and stands for:

• S – Specific
• M – Measurable
• A – Attainable 
• R – Relevant
• T – Timely

If you follow this formula when setting goals in the future, you may find it helps guide you through the process of reaching your goals. Here’s a breakdown of what each letter means. 

• Specific: 
  • When you set goals, keep them as simple as possible without being vague. Simple & specific goals give you a much clearer idea of what needs to be done to achieve them. 
• Measurable: 
  • Another important aspect of the goal is how you measure it. How will you know when you’ve reached your goal? To help set a measurable goal, come up with a clear objective. For example, instead of saying “I want to make more time for my friends,” say “I want to plan one group activity a week with my friends.” 
• Achievable: 
  • It is almost always exciting to have a new goal to work toward. Make sure that your goal is realistic, however. For example: if one of your goals is to spend more time reading, instead of saying “I want to read more this year,” say “I am going to set aside 10 minutes a day for reading.”  
• Relevant: 
  • When you’re deciding on a goal ask yourself, “Is this goal relevant to my life? To my values? To my interests?” If your goals don’t align with the things that are meaningful to you, you may not feel motivated to try to achieve them. 
• Time-Bound: 
  • Having an open-ended goal can be an invitation for procrastination + forgetfulness. When you set a goal, make sure to come up with a time frame for when you want to complete it. This can help you structure your progress, and keep track of how close you are to achieving it. 

Remember, this is just one approach to goal setting. Take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. Everyone is different, so it makes sense that we all work toward our goals differently. This framework is just a starting point.

Want to schedule a 10-minute call with our Intake Coordinator?  Check out our scheduling link here.

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STAFF HIGHLIGHT: 

Traci Davison
(she, her, hers)

Traci joined Holistic Consultation in 2017 with 20 years of experience in the medical field.

As our Billing Manager, Traci’s experience in credentialing, office & billing management and benefit coordination helps manage all aspects of billing at Holistic Consultation.

Below are Traci’s staff recommendations:

Rewire Your Anxious Brain by Catherine M Pittman and Elizabeth M Karle

Dealing with anxiety can make your brain feel like a stranger. This book helps uncover the reasons behind the feelings of fear to help you work through anxiety, panic, and worry.  You’ll learn how the amygdala and cortex contribute to anxiety and what you can do about it to feel better.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine

We live in a culture that likes to pretend grief doesn’t exist, so when we find ourselves in the midst of grief it can be totally overwhelming. This book will teach you not only about the myths of the grieving process, how to manage your emotions while grieving, and about how grief is perfectly normal.

How to Survive the Loss of a Parent by Lois F. Akner 

Losing a parent is hard to contemplate. When someone loses a parent, they may be overwhelmed and totally unprepared for the complex swirls of emotion that come up: regret, sadness, anger, shame, loss, love, guilt – the list goes on and on. This book is a comprehensive guide on the loss of a parent and gives a path to work through the grief you’re feeling.

Want to schedule a 10-minute call with our Intake Coordinator?  Check out our scheduling link here.

The post How To Set Smart Goals appeared first on Holistic Consultation.